Culmination Address for the Class of 2015

"Make each day your masterpiece."
Coach Wooden and the Class of 2015

Over the past couple of years, a dedicated teacher at my school has founded and grown an award-winning speech and debate team. This year, she and I worked together to select speakers for our eighth grade graduation using the speech and debate guidelines for writing an Original Oratory. I have been awed whenever I hear these students speak and prepare for competition, and after seeing the expectations for this particular speech competition, I decided to try to write one as well. I haven't made an attempt at a graduation speech since I was in eighth grade, so it was an interesting exercise. I read it to my students this past week because they all helped me through a difficult time in my life. They have, and so have you, so I thought I'd share it here as well.

Today

Just over a year ago my mom underwent surgery. It was eighth grade field day and I received text updates from my sister as I watched my students soaking in the sun and pools. I stood with my feet in the grass enjoying a few final hours with these students, but my mind often drifted to my mom, hoping for the best.

Over the next few days, Mom’s condition worsened so I flew up to Oregon to be with her and for the first time in fifteen years, I missed Emerson’s graduation. I sat in a cold hospital room while my students crossed the stage, making their way out of my classroom and into the world.

That is when I began months of missing, missing the students I never said goodbye to, and missing my mom who never recovered and crossed over a few days later. In these months of missing, I lived in the memories of the past. I remembered many moments with my students from the school year, and I remembered a lifetime of moments with my mom.

I was still remembering and missing when this school year began. My drive home was always the hardest part of my day. I used to call my mom each day as I drove home and as I navigated the busy LA streets, those streets bore witness to many tender moments of grief. At school, I missed the familiarity of my former students and thought of them as they started at high schools all over the city, hoping only for the absolute best for all of them.

But as the days and weeks passed, as summer gave way to fall, I started to move into the present. Instead of grieving for my mom as I drove home from work I began to think about what she might say to me today. As I got to know my new students, they brought with them joy, curiosity, and new stories to share.

Great American essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could.”

I needed these words to remind me to let go of all my yesterdays and begin again to live: today. I needed these words to help me remember my mom and my former students, to allow them to continue to teach me, but I needed to stay grounded in the present, to be here: today.

Emerson also says, “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”

Today this might be easier to do than every other day because today is your graduation. Today we celebrate all you have accomplished; all of your hard work and perseverance but isn’t that what every day is? Hasn’t every today been built on all of the hard work of every day that came before?

Yes. I am the sum of all of my days, as are you, but I will try to let go of yesterday and live in today, in the present, in the moment, with you, the people who with me share these days, these experiences, these moments.

While I was with my mom in her final days, I read Ruth Ozeki’s novel, A Tale for the Time Being. In it one of the narrators states: “A time being is someone who lives in time, and that means you, and me, and every one of us who is, or was, or ever will be.”

My mom was a time being and because she continues to be with me, she is forever one of my time beings. You, every one of you, is a time being, as are all of my students from last year and the year before that. You are all my time beings as are all of my students yet to come.

So as you cross this stage and graduate into a new chapter in your life, I urge you to live each day. Let go of yesterday, be done with it, and make space in today for all of your time beings. Stay present in your life. Remember the past, learn from it, and then let it go. Coach John Wooden says, “Make each day your masterpiece.” I cannot wait to see what you create in your lifetime of todays.

Ten Things I Hope My Students Will Remember

This time of year is always a challenge for me. After all the hours I've spent working with my students, the end is suddenly upon us. I love my job, but what’s hard for me as a writer is only getting to read the opening chapters of my students’ stories. It’s like reading the Amazon preview but I can’t buy the whole book yet. We reach the end of the year together, but they are at the beginning of high school and the beginning of their young lives. They are like the opening week of NaNoWriMo, the faltering start to poems at the beginning of NaPoWriMo, the first few lines and scenes in a book. They are full of promise and expectation.

It’s exhilarating to be young. The future is an exciting and frightening unknown. My students have not yet written what will come, but they are finding their legs in this world and walking along a path unique to them. As they head off into a world that can be both beautiful and tragic, I want them to remember so much. But I know they can hardly remember to take their backpacks on their way out the door, so I better write these things down. Here are 10 things I hope my eighth graders will remember.

1) Keep writing. Maybe it’s a journal, or the beginning of a novel each November, or a few poems when you feel like the world doesn’t understand you. Maybe it’s a blog or a tumblr or tweets, but keep writing. You have a story to tell and the world needs more stories like yours. Your story might just save someone. Writing your story might save you.

2) Keep reading. Ok, for some of you this may be start reading, but hopefully you will read and read often. I hope you will read to learn, to work your brain, and to escape. Read new books and reread favorites. Read books that challenge your thinking and make you see the world differently. Talk with friends about books. Set goals for your reading and plan what books you want to read. Then, keep a list of the books you’ve read so you can say, yes, I did that.

3) Keep questioning. Think critically but not cynically. Think about the validity of your sources whether that source be an author, a teacher, a professor, a friend, a girl/boyfriend. Try to understand where people are coming from, but also decide if you agree with them. Use your critical thinking skills and establish your own independent thoughts.

4) Stay organized. Write down homework and projects and assignments every. single. day.  Clean out your binder, your backpack, your desk, your room, your closet and your mind. Keep the things you really need, but my rule is: if I haven’t used it or worn it in the past two years, it’s gone. Also, leave some space for quiet in your life so you can hear your thoughts. Close your eyes to the screens and sounds of the world and just be.

5) Keep believing. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Believe that if you work hard, you can do anything. Believe in the best version of who you are and strive for competitive greatness which Coach Wooden describes as “performing at your best when your best is required. Your best is required each day.”

6) Keep following your dreams. It is brave to hold on to the dreams of your childhood, but hold on to your dreams and make plans to get you there. If your dream is to make it to the NBA, do something every single day to help you get there. If your dream is to go to UCLA, make a plan to help you get there which might mean extra study sessions, finding a tutor or sacrificing something fun to get that school project done. Find people who can help you and continue to pursue your dream.

7) Be resilient. The world is going to tell you “No.” “You can’t.” People will doubt you and question your commitment and desire. Sometimes even those who support you will not understand or know how to help. Don’t give up. Keep pushing and pressing for what you want until life says, “Yes.”

8) Work hard. Coach Wooden says, “There is no substitute for hard work. None. Worthwhile things come only from hard work.” Some things come easier for some people. When things look easy for others, it’s often because they have spent hours working to make it appear easy. Life is not easy. Take pride in putting in work.

9) Find what you love to do and do it. Pursue it with enthusiasm and joy. 

10) Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes. Learn from them and keep moving forward. Be kind to those around you. Don’t judge others too harshly because if the struggle is real, everyone is in it. Be kind.