12 Days of Blog Posts: Balancing Busy

Mom always said I was too busy; that I work too hard. I'm starting to think she was right. In high school school it was three sports, and school, and choir, and friends. In college it was almost always 18 credits, and work study, and volunteer work. Now it's parenting, and teaching, and coaching, and reading, and writing, and exercise. And all these goals I set, that are actually quite ridiculous, but they provide some structure to what seems to be a crazy life.

Maybe these two can help me find some balance. 

So here is my near-the-end of the year update on those goals for 2015.

Reading: I wanted to read 48 books. I've read 10. I hope to finish 2 more before the new year.

Writing: I wanted to write 20 hours per month. Not close there either, but I wrote plenty for NaNoWriMo which just proves it can be done.

Submitting: 5 pieces this year. 5 rejections. I know I need to get my words out there if I'm going to build this writer-life. I guess I just don't know how badly I want it.

Blogging: This will be blog number 28. It's more than last year. It's 20 fewer than I hoped, but this 12 Days of Blog Posts thing will get me closer.

Exercising: I started biking to work 2-3 times a week which comes to 20-30 miles per week. That along with the miles I've run means absolutely nothing... except I'm getting in the miles and getting to closer the body I'd like to live in from here on out.

So, balance. I haven't found it. Not even close. I'll be thinking again about what I want from this next year, what I really want, and aiming for some balance within my busy.

This Two-Kid Life: 2015 Goals Update

Did you notice? Well, it was easy to miss, but 2015 is halfway over.  When I set my goals for this year, my writing, reading, submitting, blogging, and exercising benchmarks, I figured it would be tough. I knew February would put me behind because of the newborn and all, but I figured then I'd be able to catch-up. Ha! Guess what. The baby is still around and so is that three-year-old. So all of you parents with two or more kids (MORE? I can't even imagine) you know that there is no time for catch up. There is barely time for, I don't know, any of it. But here is where I stand now, at the midyear point. 

Steve Jobs quote by Stately Type. 

Writing: I have been writing a little, but not the 5 hours per week I'd hoped for. April's poetry challenge helped me get back to the page so I'm at about 80 hours for the year which is double what I had at the end of the first quarter but still 40 hours behind. 

Reading: I finished 3 more books: Bad Feminist, Sharp Teeth, and Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald. This brings my yearly total to 6. A book a month? I'll take it, but I'm 12 behind. 

Submitting: I only submitted one thing this quarter so I've submitted 5 pieces total this year. This July however, I plan to get more of my work out there. "Real Artist Ship" after all, well, that's what Steve Jobs said, meaning we've got to get our work out there into the world.

Blogging: I've continued blogging and although I've been inconsistent, I've published 18 posts so I'm only 6 behind. 

Exercising: I've walked or ran 160 miles this year. I still hope to log 40 per month or 480 for the year so I should be closer to 240 right now. If I adjust my goal to 13-15 miles per week I can still make it. 

In A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki, one of the characters writes in a journal made from Marcel Proust's novel:  

A la recherché du temps perdu which translates as ‘In search of lost time’ or ‘Remembrance of things past.’ 

Right now, adjusting to being a mom of two kids, I feel like I'm searching for moments to write, read, submit, blog, and exercise. I'm not going to beat myself up about being behind on these goals. I'm just going to try to embrace this search for lost time and live in every moment. 

2015 Progress: Writing, Reading, Submitting, Blogging, and Exercising Update

And just like that, 2015, which seemed to just begin, is already one fourth over. It's been a big first quarter for me with Gabe Ichiro entering the world, so I'm already playing catch-up on my goals for the year. Who would have thought that having another kid would cut into my schedule? Well, anyone who has two kids could have told me that and I'm sure they did, but I wasn't listening. Nonetheless, here is where I stand as of the end of March for 2015.

Writing: I want to try to put in 5 hours at the page per week (20 per month). Come on. This seems completely reasonable, but somehow I'm already behind. I did great in January, but once the sleep deprivation of newborn life set in, my productivity plummeted, so I'm at 40 hours for the year, about 20 hours behind. I need to up my average for the rest of the year in order to catch up.

Reading: I finished only 3 books: Thinking About Memoir by Abigail Thomas, To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee, and Don’t Let’s Go To the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller. I'm 9 back...

Submitting: My goal for this year is to submit work for publication once a week (4 per month). This is way beyond the amount of submitting I've ever done in the past. I've submitted 4 pieces and the rejections are already coming in! Still, I'm behind and need to double up for a few weeks in order to catch up. 

Blogging: I'm back to publishing on the blog once a week (4 per month) and with 8 posts so far, I'm only 4 behind. And for the month of March, I logged the highest readership on the blog in history. Yay, milestone!

Exercising: I want to cover 10 miles per week (40 per month) and while I was very pregnant and recovering from the c-section I took several weeks off. That has me at 54 miles  for the year so part of getting back in shape will be upping my mileage. 

"His Lashes" a visual poem.

So, that's it. I'm not too worried about being behind because I have this little guy distracting me...

This morning David reminded me of a Herm Edwards quote: "A goal without a plan is just a wish." Even though I'm behind on my goals, at least I have a clear plan to get me there. 

Books! Books! Books! Titles #31-50 (kind of)

So, I made it, kind of.

I read and wrote annotations for 50 books this year. This is far more than I've ever read in a calendar year (more than double) and it felt great to read so many titles I've been long-meaning to read. But in all honesty, I don't know if 50 is the right number for me. I think 35 or 40 might be a more honest goal so that I can enjoy more of the books and not rush through so many. But I got myself to 50 by counting a few books I false-started or abandoned and by counting 10 of the many children's books I've read over and over and over to Kiara this year.

So, here they are, the last 20 titles and annotations. I'll probably write another post of my favorites of the year, and here is a link to my Goodreads page with all of the books I read this year...

Previous Books! Books! Books! posts:

Titles #1-10 Heavy on the AVI titles with some fiction, nonfiction and graphic novels.

Titles #11-20 My most eclectic mix.

Titles #21-30 Excavation, Shakespeare, and a novel in verse.

Stop Pretending: What Happened When My Big Sister Went Crazy by Sonia Sones  This was my model novel for National Novel Writing Month so I reread it as I was drafting a memoir in verse of my own. Still good the second time around particularly the moments of memory that reveal relationships from before and how they shift through this family crisis.

Where She Went by Gayle Foreman  This continuation of the story from If I Stay takes on a different POV, the one of the rock star boyfriend. I liked the unfolding of the story, the playing with time that Foreman also utilized in If I Stay. I found myself once again tearing up toward the end so I guess it works!

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart This beautifully rendered book had me plowing through pages, but the shallow three generations left me wondering if I really cared what would happen to them. Is it a flaw in the writing or in the actual characters themselves? I’m not sure, but the tragedy of reality and the silences surrounding truth are themes I’m quite familiar so it kept me turning the pages.

Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson This biography in verse follows Woodson’s early childhood from Ohio, through South Carolina, and ends up in Brooklyn. My favorite parts were seeing how she sizes herself up in comparison to her siblings and grew into an identity as a writer. It felt similar to A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, but updated for today’s young reader.

Griffin & Sabine by Nick Bantock This epistolary of the correspondence between two artists plays with reality and fantasy, sanity and insanity. The illustrations help the story unfold as well. A beautiful story with an ambiguous ending.

Love Poems by Nikki Giovanni Amazing how timely Giovanni’s poems remain so many years later. This winter, with widespread protests of police brutality and #blacklivesmatter, these poems remind me how constant these struggles have been in the black community. And food! Her poems make me hungry.

The Arrival by Shaun Tan This graphic novel reveals migration and immigration stories in ways that are both simplistic and infinitely complex. There is such fear and loss in these narratives and then there are glimmers of hands opening up new worlds and new beginnings.

Lost and Found by Shaun Tan Another graphic novel, this telling three tales, “The Red Tree,” “The Lost Thing,” and “The Rabbits.” I loved the use of text in this one in contrast to the wordlessness in The Arrival. The images drive the narrative and each story feels like an installation in a Shaun Tan exhibit. I could get lost in his images for hours if I let myself.

Abandoned Books or False Starts I intend to finish later…

NW by Zadie Smith Got into the second narrative voice but couldn’t keep momentum…

Landline by Rainbow Rowell Started but wasn’t ready for the story yet…

Tell Me The Truth About Love by W.H. Auden Lost myself in these poems…

Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness by William Styron Ugh. I couldn’t get past the pretentiousness of his voice…

Top Ten Children’s Books Read Repetitively with Kiara (my favorites, not necessarily hers, ones that I didn’t mind reading even after 20 reps.)

1.     The Story of Ferdinand by Leaf Munro A lovely book about a bull who simply wants to sit quietly and smell the flowers. I love that it teaches Kiara that she can be and do what she wants despite what those around her are doing.

2.     Almost An Animal Alphabet by Katie Veggers This is my favorite of the many alphabet books Kiara has in her collection. The animals are unique and the drawings are smart and teach me things (like the differences between the Asian and African elephants). S, N and O are a few of the pages I love in particular.

3.     The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter One of my childhood favorites, I’ve loved reading this with Kiara even if it’s only the first ten pages or so. I love when Kiara yells along with Mr. McGregor: “Stop, Thief!”

4.     The Three Little Cajun Pigs by Berthe Amos I can’t help but read this one with a little hint of a Cajun accent. There is a great cut-out of the big bad alligator, Monsour Cocodrie that huffs and puffs his way through the book and all the way into the gumbo pot.

5.     Bear Snores On By Karma Wilson and Jane Chapman Beautiful illustrations accompany thoughtful rhymes about a bear sleeping through a party in his very own lair.

6.     The Three Little Javelinas by Susan Lowell and Jim Harris This Southwestern take on the three little pigs infuses Spanish vocabulary and features a magical coyote. These hairy little pigs somehow find a way to escape coyote and reveal the myth of coyote’s howl.

7.     Sleep Like a Tiger by Mary Logue and Pamela Zagarenski This beautifully rendered book about a little girl who just isn’t tired and doesn’t want to go to sleep was perfect for Kiara as she transitioned to her big girl bed. I love the unique animals depicted and how the girl mimics their sleeping habits.

8.     Mother Goose by Gyo Fujikawa My mom had this book in the house when I was growing up and she got it for Kiara before she was born. Kiara loves singing “Rock a Bye Baby,” “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and “Hush little Baby.” The drawings are lovely and Kiara could turn through this books for hours.  

9.     The Night Before Christmas by Clement C. Moore It’s a good thing I had this one memorized from years ago which allows me to recite it quickly with just a glance at the pages. Even though Santa is not Kiara’s favorite, she loved reading this every single night of the holiday season.

10.  Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Suess Kiara fell in love with this book in Lincoln at the Okamoto’s house and caused a major meltdown on our drive back to Los Angeles. I couldn’t decide who was more annoying, Sam I Am or the one who claims to hate green eggs and ham, but love the rhyme and repetition just like Kiara does.

Four Week Countdown to the Close of 2014

The year is winding down, and it's amazing how much change a year can bring. I set some ambitious resolutions for 2014 and I've checked in with my progress a couple of times, once in April and again in July. I was behind then, but since then, well... in some ways the wheels came off. I still have four weeks left which makes me wonder, how close can I still get to these goals? 

I didn't set a goal for spending 
time with this girl... but we did. 

Writing Goal: Finish high school memoir draft of Notes from a High School Feminist (50,000 words) and revise YA novel: Rice Paper Superheroes. 

Progress: I finished the draft of the high school memoir: 52,000 words, but it still needs of a good deal of revision. I haven't revised Rice Paper Superheroes yet (boooo) but I did draft a new memoir in verse: Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop (30,000 words) during NaNoWriMo last month.  

Reading Goal: Read and write short annotations for 50 books in the year. 

Progress: Aaaargh! I am stuck on number 32 which means I'd need to finish a book every couple of days in order to finish in time. Realistically, I think I could still get to 40. Wish me luck.  

Publishing Goal: Submit work at least once a month and publish one blog post per week. 

Progress: I have failed tremendously here. I've only published 24 blogs (I think this is 25...) and I haven't sent out work regularly. I think I might need to set a rule for myself that I can't work on new essays/drafts until I submit something and I should really submit once a week instead of once a month in order to get some momentum. Yes. That's what I'll do for these last four weeks.  

Fitness Goal: Run 500 miles in the year. 

Progress: I changed run to walk once I got pregnant so I'm at 417 right now. 83 miles in 4 weeks is possible...

So, grief played a role in some of my falling behind. Pregnancy played some as well and last time I was pregnant my mind turned to mush as did my muscles. So at least these goals helped that from happening again. And still, I'm close and we'll see just how much I can get done in these last four weeks of 2014. 

Mid Year Report

Ok, I am clearly behind on my blog posts, but here's where I stand on my yearly goals so far:

I started the year with an ambitious set of goals and the year is halfway over! How am I doing?

Writing: Finish high school memoir draft (50,000 words) and revise YA novel: Rice Paper Superheroes.

Progress: Still drafting the high school memoir: 37,500 words. I'm using July as a Camp NaNoWriMo to get this done. Then I'll I need to finish drafting Rice Paper Superheroes.

Reading: Read and write short annotations for 50 books in the year.

Progress: I'm still behind. I have 19 finished and a bunch of these were long, non-YA titles so I'm ok with being a little behind. Americanah and A Tale for the Time Being were worth the extra weeks I took to read them. I still have a solid month of summer to catch up. That means 10 books this month which is ambitious, but doable.

Publishing: Submit work at least once a month and publish one blog post per week.

Progress: I suck at submitting. I don't know what I need to do to get going on this. Any suggestions? As for blog posts this is number 19 so I'm just a little behind.

Fitness: Run 500 miles in the year.

Progress: Yes! I'm ahead on this one. Granted, I'm walking most of these, but still I'm getting the miles in with 261 miles through June.

All of the goals are still within reach. Just have to keep putting in work!

First Quarter Progress Report for 2014

A while back, poet Kima Jones asked on twitter about those new year's resolutions. She was calling me out. That woman is all about accountability and she gets it done. I needed to come clean. I started the year with an ambitious set of goals but now, as the first quarter closes I'm ready to check in with those goals and my progress.

Writing: Finish high school memoir draft (50,000 words) and revise YA novel: Rice Paper Superheroes.

Progress: Still drafting the high school memoir: 23,000 words. Not quite halfway there. I need to write, people

Reading: Read and write short annotations for 50 books in the year.

Progress: Doing ok on this one although I was ahead of the game at the start of March and am now behind. Still, I've finished 10 and am halfway through two more. I should be at 12  by now. Spring break should help me catch up.

Publishing: Submit work at least once a month and publish one blog post per week.

Progress: Only submitted one piece to CNF, close on the blogs. One, maybe two weeks behind. I need to get my work out there. This is the scary one for me, always, but it is one of those risks I have to make myself take.

Fitness: Run 500 miles in the year.

Progress: Just over 100 miles. I should be at 125.

So, my conclusion here at my quarterly progress report is this: I'm behind but I can still reach my goals.

I can do this.

Here we go.