I only celebrated Mother's Day three times as a mother
before my own mom passed away. This is my second without her. The missing
persists daily, but feels even heavier on weekends like this. Here is a poem
from this year's NaPoWriMo collection: The Equilibrium of Lost Change. It's
inspired by the poem "Before" by Ada Limón about "the hazardous
bliss before you know what you would miss." Enjoy...
Before
by Ada Limón
No shoes and a glossy
red helmet, I rode
on the back of my dad’s
Harley at seven years old.
Before the divorce.
Before the new apartment.
Before the new marriage.
Before the apple tree.
Before the ceramics in the garbage.
Before the dog’s chain.
Before the koi were all eaten
by the crane. Before the road
between us, there was the road
beneath us, and I was just
big enough not to let go:
Henno Road, creek just below,
rough wind, chicken legs,
and I never knew survival
was like that. If you live,
you look back and beg
for it again, the hazardous
bliss before you know
what you would miss.
and here is my response...
Before
On my last night in your house
we argued about your happiness.
When you came to visit, I was
annoyed by your exhaustion
before I knew I was pregnant
before your surgery
before I came to understand a hospital bed
and how doctor’s rounds worked and final goodbyes.
before decisions were made
and I learned about death
there was the mundane
and annoying:
the conflict that only matters
with the ones we love.
Previous Mother's Day posts:
