Mother's Day 2016

I only celebrated Mother's Day three times as a mother before my own mom passed away. This is my second without her. The missing persists daily, but feels even heavier on weekends like this. Here is a poem from this year's NaPoWriMo collection: The Equilibrium of Lost Change. It's inspired by the poem "Before" by Ada Limón about "the hazardous bliss before you know what you would miss." Enjoy... 

Before


by Ada Limón

No shoes and a glossy


red helmet, I rode


on the back of my dad’s


Harley at seven years old.


Before the divorce.


Before the new apartment.


Before the new marriage.


Before the apple tree.


Before the ceramics in the garbage.


Before the dog’s chain.


Before the koi were all eaten


by the crane. Before the road


between us, there was the road


beneath us, and I was just


big enough not to let go:


Henno Road, creek just below,


rough wind, chicken legs,


and I never knew survival


was like that. If you live,


you look back and beg


for it again, the hazardous


bliss before you know


what you would miss.

and here is my response... 

Before

On my last night in your house

we argued about your happiness.

When you came to visit, I was

annoyed by your exhaustion

before I knew I was pregnant

before your surgery

before I came to understand a hospital bed

and how doctor’s rounds worked and final goodbyes.

before decisions were made 

and I learned about death

there was the mundane

and annoying:

the conflict that only matters

with the ones we love.

Previous Mother's Day posts:

Happy Mother's Day 2015

Mother's Day 2014

Not a Mother's Day poem 2013