I love how this poem captures that.
You might recognize it from the last scene in the movie Smoke Signals based on Sherman Alexie's short story "This is What It Means to Say Pheonix, Arizona" from his collection Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven.
How Do We Forgive Our Fathers?
By Dick Lourie
How do we forgive our Fathers?
Maybe in a dream
Do we forgive our Fathers for leaving us too often or forever
when we were little?
Maybe in a dream
Do we forgive our Fathers for leaving us too often or forever
when we were little?
Maybe for scaring us with
unexpected rage
or making us nervous
because there never seemed to be any rage there at all.
or making us nervous
because there never seemed to be any rage there at all.
Do we forgive our Fathers for
marrying or not marrying our Mothers?
For Divorcing or not divorcing our Mothers?
For Divorcing or not divorcing our Mothers?
And shall we forgive them for
their excesses of warmth or coldness?
Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning
for shutting doors
for speaking through walls
or never speaking
or never being silent?
Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning
for shutting doors
for speaking through walls
or never speaking
or never being silent?
Do we forgive our Fathers in
our age or in theirs
or their deaths
saying it to them or not saying it?
or their deaths
saying it to them or not saying it?
If we forgive our Fathers what
is left?
What is left? For me, having gone through a long (my twenties) unforgiving stage, is the fear of losing him. Of knowing how much I'll never have grasped or learned about the man he is. I forgave mine in both my age and his.
ReplyDeleteMy journey with my father is watching him age, and as time transforms him, attempting to reconnect. I guess we are constantly losing those we love as we all grow and change with age and become different people.
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